I’m easily one of the most fortunate copywriters working today.
That’s because I not only have a strong list of savvy clients who make it easy for me to knock promotions out of the park for them… but I frequently get to brainstorm and consult with the legendary John Carlton about how to execute the copy.
(Some day I’m going to write about how I was able to win my position on John’s team. There are some great lessons about redefining the notion of “luck” that some people confuse with creating opportunity… at the same time, many things far from my control lent a hand in making John and I very compatible, so it’s true that you can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime…)
Today I’m going to share a result of one of the private sessions I’m privileged to have with John. It’s about using empathy to relate to your prospect in a sales letter. This is an issue I’ve concentrated on a lot for two reasons…
1. There’s a lot of misinformation about the meaning of empathy in copy.
2. How you use empathy changes drastically based on the author/reader relationship.
In fact, in my report BehindTheCopy – Analogy of a #1 ClickBank Sales Letter (which you can get on this page by joining the new post update list) I start off saying “You can’t go wrong with empathy as an opener” and I have to tell you now — that’s incorrect. (Still a solid report, BTW, but I’m the first to admit when I’ve re-learned a belief – something any good copywriter must be open to at all times.)
Truth is… you can go wrong using empathy as an opener – rather quickly, in fact. That’s because empathy is often not what the prospect wants from their expert.
For instance, the letter I analyzed in the report is selling a series of video lessons created for the internet marketing niche. In which case empathy works fine. It’s important for the IM crowd to know that you’ve struggled to make it work just like they have. That way they know you are qualified to propose a proven solution. Pretty basic stuff.
But as you creep lower down Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and the product you’re promoting addresses a more urgent need, empathy is not necessarily what your prospect is craving. He simply wants to know you are the expert that can provide the solution that works fast to relieve pain and make his trouble go away.
As John put it on the call (I’m paraphrasing): In this situation, this guy (the author) is like an ER doctor. He doesn’t say, “I know what it’s like to have your finger cut off by a buzz saw…” because he’s standing there with all his fingers.
And that’s not what the guy standing there bleeding wants to hear anyway. He’s not looking for someone to share his pain – he’s looking for someone to solve his problem. So the doctor’s job is to assure him he knows exactly how to stop the pain and heal the wound. Simple as that.
It’s a good reminder that methods that work wonders in certain sales situations can quickly become a detriment in another. The lesson is to make sure you have a deep understanding of your prospect’s mindset as he enters the letter.
What is his pain level?
How urgent is his need for a cure?
Where does his problem rate on Maslow’s scale?
This lesson is also a good reminder that the very basics of good salemanship are where most promotions either win big or lose bad. Maybe hearing it again can help you out today the way it did me.
Happy selling.
Kevin
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It all comes down to REALLY understanding your prospect, not just guessing at what you think he *might* want to hear.
I don’t like teaching people the “rules” and “killer” tactics of copy — for every situation where they apply there’s another where it’s the total wrong thing to do.
Cheers
Kyle
p.s. I’m totally jealous of your man love with John.
He’s a lousy kisser if it makes you feel any better, Kyle.
Is using empathy to reader means we are pacing them effectively? I heard the concept of pacing from Harlan.
Then, if they want solutions to their problem like the example above, how is it possible that we can pace them first regarding their problem, without necessarily being emphatic and piss them off.
Cheers
Faliq
-Aspiring Young Copywriter
p.s. John Carlton reminds me of ‘hook’
Thanks for sharing, Kevin.
I recognized this example (great!) in my own experience. When I was practicing medicine, my clients were primarily hooked by my my extreme confidence that I’ll help them no matter how bad a state they were.
And they couldn’t care less if I ever experienced their illness myself
Sergey
Great post, Kevin (as usual).
You and I were just talking about this in reverse the other day in terms of “stupid salesman tricks”, weren’t we?
Salesperson: “I’ll have my secretary send that information over to you…”
ME: “You work in a cubicle, dude. You don’t HAVE a secretary… Just tell them you’ll personally fax the paperwork over right now.”
The salesperson thinks that they need to build up some facade of importance. He believes that the customer will be impressed by him having “staff” to do little things like faxing paperwork.
In truth, that customer wants someone who PERSONALLY takes care of them . Total disconnect and completely self-made.
The salesperson wants rapport. The customer wants rapport. But a forced “tactic” gets in the way and screws the pooch completely.
This is easy to address in a live selling environment, but can be tougher to solve when we’re strictly limited to written sales copy to convey “all that we are”.
The solution as I see it is exactly as Kyle said above: to really know who your customer is and truly understand their pain/motivation.
When you’re speaking their language, demonstrating that you truly understand and have experience with their problems and challenges, that you know exactly what it takes to get them from where they ARE to where there dream is… that’s REAL empathy.
Trying to force a “I was just like you… it’s not your fault” story or a “I’m a big shot, so do what I say” story is like forcing a square peg through a round hole.
Best,
Brian
Right on, Sergey. That’s exactly the point John made. When you’re in trauma mode, whether the person aiding you has been is your shoes or not is hardly relevant compared to their level of expertise in FIXING the problem.
Thanks for commenting.
Kevin
Hi Faliq,
I’ll leave the NLP mastering to Harlan, he’s brilliant. But from what I understand about pacing, empathy is a key component. The lesson here is to understand your prospect’s desires on a deep level so that you can know if empathy is the right approach. In this case, where the reader is urgently seeking to fix an all-consuming problem… something that’s thrown his entire life of kilter… telling him it’s “not his fault” or that you know how he feels is not the most effective angle to take.
Sure you want to acknowledge that you understand the process, how it has pushed him out of his comfort zone, but he does not need you to feel for him, he just needs you to supply answers. So spend your energy supplying him the confidence to trust that you have the solution, rather than empathizing with his plight.
It’s not that missing the mark here will necessarily “piss him off” but it will lose you some sales.
Thanks for stopping by,
Kevin
Great point, Brian. These days people expect direct access more than ever. That’s not always an option, of course. But creating phony personnel to do mundane tasks is a dead art to be sure. It’s thinking small.
Reminds me of the idea of NOT responding to inquiries too quickly because you’ll appear “too available.” Bullshit. Clients are hot when they contact you, letting them cool to establish the illusion of importance is dumb. If you know how to communicate with confidence, replying in a timely manner (within 24-48hrs) shows respect for your potential prospect’s time. The same respect you should be demanding for yourself.
Thanks for another thought provoking comment, Brian.
Reminds me of something… Oh yeah, Collier. “Enter the conversation the prospect is already having in his mind.”
What you’re describing is going deep in an elegant, yet powerfully emotive way. As compared to a shallow, one-size-fits-all approach where you always start with “empathy”, which can amount to little more than throat clearing. (Guilty!)
Thanks for the gentle nudge in the right direction.
And don’t hold off too long on the story of how you got on Carlton’s team.
Best,
Sheridan
I just found your blog via Brian’s twitter stream, and I’m glad I did. I recently wrote about the need for empathy on my blog, and as far as I can tell, it’s about TRULY understanding them, and TRULY wanting to help. (Or at least giving that sincere impression) – as Brian said.
As you said, “the doctor’s job is to assure him he knows exactly how to stop the pain and heal the wound”.
However, several things have already happened in this scenario. The client is already at the doctor’s, and probably already TRUST that doctor to an extent, and KNOW he/she is likely to be able to help.
However, sales copy is not a doctor’s surgery. It is a sales pitch. And if you’re not a doctor, you have an additional “authority” hurdle to overcome.
I guess that’s why many copywriters go the “I know how it feels” route, because it creates a different KIND of authority (especially if the one selling the solution isn’t a “doctor” in the first place).
Instead of the doctor’s authority… “hey, I’m a doctor, so I’m qualified to solve this”, it’s kind of “hey, I’ve been there, and I solved it, so I’m qualified to help you” route.
Paul Hancox
http://twitter.com/copysnips
Hey Paul – Thanks for posting. Glad to have you here.
You make a good point about establishing authority, however, remember in this example the doctor is an ER doctor and the patient has just sawed his thumb off. Which is far different from arriving for an appointment with your physician.
So, the point John made to me and (hopefully) I passed on, is to TRULY understand the relationship when the reader arrives. You summed it up well in your final line there. That moment of “I’ve solved this many times before” is crucial, even if “I know how it feels” does not apply.
John told me that same discussion has prompted him to write a new blog post about the difference between sympathy and empathy. I hope he does, should be a good one.
Kevin
Great post Kevin and nice blog I just stopped through and I like the content you are share. That’s definitely true what you state, you have to get into your prospects mind and figure out exactly on a emotional level what they want and eliminate the risk for them to get it, that’s the best kind of copy you can write.
Terrance Charles
http://thesimplecodemanuscript.com
Hey Terrance. Welcome to the blog. Look forward to hearing more from you.
Kevin
Kevin,
Killer post…Empathy… what a great way to identify with someones feelings and emotions.
Love the blog by the way.
Bill Jeffels